Week 12

fb_img_146907951144656120824.jpgWeek 12 well this is the week I felt like it was an eternity for being out for a week everyday I was missing something everyday I was just feeling rebellious and yelling out the one sentence that I had recreated for that moment which took me probably 5 minutes out of the 50 that we were doing it really held my heart really hard really tight and opened up my eyes again the emotion flowed and I did not think this was a funny exercise I thought this was an excellent exercise to have so I didn’t want to beat myself up and I didn’t want to feel lost again which I was lost when I did not do the exercises for a week I just felt that my old Blue Print was very active at this moment when chaos happens the landlord was acting out waking up half an hour before I was supposed to and banging and banging and being angry and I’m not used to that and I did I felt really out of place I was supposed to feel safe in my home and I felt very very worried so it was very overwhelming to to do my exercises and feel safe at the same time so I was rushing everything had to get my boxes filling up my time worrying instead of doing my exercises I was not in a good position and I’m being honest out loud I did not like it I got so used to going away from the house to be away from anger

Before I did my exercises that I was supposed to I was on track I was Marco Polo and alliance, I did forget to blog I thought I did and at some point I thought I’ll do it later another old blueprint again I don’t know if anybody else is in this position of thinking but that’s where I was so well I was rushing and not concentrating on me

I moved two days earlier pressured by my sister to get the truck that day because. I asked for her help to get the uhaul movi g truckand i did it because it worked out only for her so I said yes and I ended up falling out of a truck and getting a concussion I need to slow down and I need to take care of myself cuz I’m the only one doing it right now I am the one that depends on me and I have a whole world of people to connect with to talk with to be happy with to be positive with

this is my emotional rollercoaster and I don’t want it anymore being confused and having other people affect and letting other people affect my life the way it has been I need to focus more and love myself more and connect with a world of beautiful people that encourage life to happen this is so unfamiliar to me and I am grateful that I am here to encourage my sister’s kids at Young ages of 4 and 7 to continue dreaming and through their eyes I can dream too cuz they’re so beautiful and open and I’m going to be building their houses how they want to dream with their minds and this will encourage me to continue dreaming my solid dreams because this week I moved into a very comfortable home my apartment is just for me it’s a small mini DMP and I am grateful that I have it and I’m away from anything that is negative and it’s just  me

now i talk anytime, to speak to sing out loud talk out loud to walk around and be happy encouraged to be who I am to be thank you

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